(The Knight at the Crossroads, Viktor Vasnetsov. The inscription in the stone says “If you go left, you will lose your horse. If you go right, you will lose your head”)
It's been a challenging month, culminating in developing laryngitis and not being able to sing.
My life at the moment seems to be an exercise in faith and patience.
Two things I've lacked all my life.
I'm accepting the challenge to learn these two things.
And to feel at ease with uncertainty.
One thing that continuously upsets me is seeing creative people around me giving up because of all the adversity we face. Happened this week. And it makes cry. Been there.
Following your bliss isn't necessarily an easy thing to do. You set out on an adventure with great excitement and enthusiasm, but after several months at sea you're left with stale water, food full of weevils, you feel thoroughly seasick, probably develop malaria or scurvy, your compass is broken and the only one to talk to is the ship's kobold. Ah, and if you're lucky there will be a mutiny or pirates, but not both.
It's hard to keep your hands on the wheel and your eyes on the horizon where you expect a distant shore to appear at any moment and but it never seems to actually materialize. I's hard to trust that you'll get there eventually.
There are days I think maybe I should just go back to the factory. It's so much easier.
But I can't. Because I believe we've all got a purpose in life, we've all got something unique to offer to the world, something nobody else will be able to do. It's like an unwritten contract, and breaking it would would cause me insufferable pain.
So all I can do is keep going and trust. Trust in myself. Trust in the world. Trust that somehow I will get over this laryngitis, I will always find the money to pay the rent, Donald Trump will not screw up the world, Brexit won't mean I have to leave the country, and that most of you will stick with your own path.
I'm going to close with a quote by the writer Brian Andreas:
“Anyone can slay a dragon ...but try waking up every morning and loving the world all over again. That's what takes a real hero.”